Executive Summary

What a great turnout we had for a public discussion forum with Mayor Debra McCartt tonight. I'm not completely certain what all the Mayor and City Commissioners can or will do to help the GLBT community, but we are certainly lucky to have someone in office who at least recognizes that we are a vital and respectable part of the city. The Mayor sets the tone for the city and I think Mayor McCartt has done a great job to include everyone into the fabric of Amarillo.

As it was discussed tonight, the very fact that we have a Mayor with enough courage to attend our events, kickoff our PRIDEfest, join us in activities sets the tone for others in the city to begin to recognize that we are here and we're worth paying attention to. I know that policy is very important, but reality is that no amount of equality legislation or policy will matter if your neighbor, co-worker, or peer beats you up in the ally.

Thank you Debra McCartt for demonstrating how a real Christian and politician should behave. We are so proud of you!!! And we want to make you proud of us.

Why Faith Still Matters (Even If Religion Doesn’t)
by Joseph Holmes

This year, our Pride week will include an InterFaith Gathering on Wednesday night,
June 21st—the Summer Solstice, the first official day of Summer. Having an InterFaith
Gathering this year gives us an opportunity to test the water, get a feel of how we as LGBT people move through our daily lives with some embrace (or not) of a spiritual path, be it a church or temple we attend, or any type of organized meeting, or perhaps a non-traditional, non-denominational, non-deity centered way of just coping. Either way, you have something to contribute to the Gathering, even if you do not yet know it. After reading this, you will understand.

InterFaith Gathering sounds all religousy and junk and is probably making some of you squirm just to consider it. It sounds like church and it tastes like chicken. But, what you are reading is not what I started out with—no less that 10 drafts—and each time I wrote, the never-quite-finished product sounded contrived and pathetically politically correct. But once I became honest in writing from my heart, the angrier I got. I imagine InterFaith to mean that we
include and embrace and tolerate Catholics and Protestants into the equation—yes, I called them by name—Catholics and Protestants—and that makes me tense. In truth, I am not very comfortable with these feelings, nor am I comfortable writing this, for fear that my truth will raise some hackles and offend some people. Particularly the Catholics and Protestants.

For those of you who are not the proverbial choir I am preaching to, here is a small peek into my/our world when it comes to how C’s and P’s have not been our friends. It’s no secret that our President has made bedfellows of various Religious Right Movements, all declaring in God’s Name that we are not worthy of the Constitution because we are anything other than what is considered the Radical Blessed Heterosexual. Somehow our natures have brought about plagues and abominations and unbalance upon the land, and the land needs to be scourged. That means that most of these Radical Blessed Heterosexuals want us gone. And not in a good way.

I believe in a Sentient and Benevolent Creator, and I believe if this planet is truly unbalanced, it is because this 'moral majority' has executed us out of the equation. And I am firmly convinced we as LGBT people are necessary in keeping spiritual balance by virtue of how we are created. This is at the very core of the original belief of the Original People in the Western Hemisphere
and other pre-‘Christianized’ cultures around the globe. (Some of you are familiar with my writings on Two-Spirit people.) Yet, we have been demonized and segregated from our own place in various cultures and societies since the earliest of popes, missionaries, priests and various do-gooders beat or burned into those people the very poisonous idea that we are aberrations of God and Nature.

Bekki McQuay asked that I write this article, so I wrote it. All I can think of is “Why should we care if a church or faith or temple exists or not when their 'official dogma' makes it clear that we are not welcome? Tell me how this technique of ethnic cleansing, this blurring and obliteration of the original truth about the original LGBT people, made any society better? How do we bridge that gap that we didn't even make, try to get back to something that we shouldn't have been shunned from in the first place? Why should we even consider any organized religion unless and until it is made heart-wrenchingly clear that we aren't at present merely 'tolerated' just to increase their bank account or attendance numbers, but rather, we are embraced as equal to every other worshiper warming a pew and that we are LOVED by the same God of their preaching?”

I am sick of our community being bodily sick and spiritually disembodied. I am sick that we have been excommunicated from a banquet table, and thus we become sicker and then blamed for our own sickness. I believe that we as the LGBT community—HUMANS—are as worthy
as anyone else walking this earth and that it is time we emerge and reclaim our rightful place. And I believe that any one of us has a responsibility to connect with that Higher Being, however perceived, so that the next phase in healing can continue.

Verily I say unto you, Your personal faith is important, and your voice and beliefs and spirit matters a great deal. I invite (or perhaps challenge) you to attend the InterFaith Gathering and stand up offering your shaky voice and sweaty palms. Tell yourself and us and the world and God that you never have to tolerate religious stupidity and religious hate and religious intolerance ever again. You will be among your brothers and sisters, and we’ll listen.

And maybe—just maybe—you’ll be able to identify that spark of a spiritual connection before the evening is over. Blessed be. Walk in Beauty. It’s all yours.

It was a special treat for our group at OUTstanding to be host to several parents and special guests on the evening of April 8th for a Parent Appreciation Reception. I'd like to extend special thanks to:

-David & Kathryn who set up such a nice spread of snacks and drinks, that helped to make everyone comfortable among their new friends.
-Shannon Kuster and Karla from the Amarillo Police Department spoke to the youth and parents about proper procedures for harassment on school property and other concerns.
-Elaine Vivens from Campfire USA sat in on the discussion, recognizing that many of the youth in their programs suffer from the isolation and depression imposed by questioning their orientation or gender identity and having no one to turn to.
-Barbara Whitton from St. Andrews Episcopal Church spoke briefly in hopes to encourage parents to find the place in their heart to love and support their children while struggling with their religious beliefs about homosexuality.
-Paul Brown, life coach was also listening in and has decided to offer his services to parents for free on behalf of OUTstanding.

It was an especially great experience for me because it was my mother's birthday. She drove all the way in from Shamrock Texas to attend the event and had lots of nice things to say. I'm glad everyone got to meet my mom, she's the greatest.

Parents of lgbt children young and old shared their stories of fear, faith, coming out for their kids and for themselves. There were parents of kids from schools all over Amarillo, Canyon, and Bushland (yes there are queers there too). Many of the parents seemed concerned about similar issues. Most of them asked what they could do to help make a difference. I hope some of them will consider attending PFLAG on the first Tuesdays of each month and together they can decide how they can make a difference.

Now that I've had some time to think, I've realized that I could not have designed nor planned a sensitivity training that would have been as effective as the ignorant, well-meaning lady in the back of the room yesterday.

As soon as she said that, "I don't agree with THAT lifestyle" statement, the air was immediately sucked out of the room by all the others at the table gasping in surprise. 20 people got to actually experience ignorant innocence in action, not just hear about it. Derek (one of our youth) was with me and told me that everyone in the room's eyes locked on us as soon as those words came out of her mouth. He also said that my silent response was so loud he could barely hear the rest of her sentence, he felt sure that the rest of the room heard it too.

But what I know is that we hear that sort of statement all the time. We have come to accept that someone saying, "I don't agree with that lifestyle, but. . ." is still our friend. We have come to tolerate the person who says, "It's not my personal opinion, but. . ." as one who is on our side of this social debate.

NOT TRUE, I say, NOT TRUE. If it's really not your opinion then why are you projecting in onto me. If it is not your opinion then why didn't you say so in the meeting of people whom you assumed it was. If you don't agree with THAT LIFESTYLE, then don't live it. And just exactly what does that mean? THAT LIFESTYLE?? Bungy jumping and sky diving, that to me is an alternative, high-risk lifestyle - I do not agree with it. People who workout everyday and eat healthy, that is an 'alternate lifestyle' of which many apparently don't subscribe to either, but you don't hear that come up in conversation much.

Many people say they don't 'agree' with homosexuality, is that sort of like 'onions don't agree with me'? Heterosexuality didn't agree with me, so you know what - I'm NOT ONE, and I think people who 'disagree' with homosexuality shouldn't be one either, but what the heck did that have to do with whether or not the chair of the coalition is available to take phone calls during the day???????

How many times have you heard, "It's not my opinion, but you know, that's just the way it is around here" from some sweet, well-meaning person when forced to project a socially assumed opinion of homosexuals? Or, even better, "I don't agree with THAT lifestyle, but I think they should be allowed . . .".

Well, I'm tired of it. I was in a meeting today with 20 or so community orgainzation leaders for the purpose of resolving local issues of underage drinking, smoking, etc.. I have long enjoyed the refreshing support I experience in this particular group.

One of the topics today was about the North Amarillo Task Force needing volunteers for their clean up project scheduled for April 8th. I had listened to their 3rd party plea for assistance long enough when I finally had to chime in and say, "NO, they don't really need help all that bad, because they have declined the offer of the OUTstanding Youth Volunteer Team." I shared with them the conversation you may have read on my previous blog-blurt about the phone call telling us that "they can't really afford to be associated with PEOPLE LIKE US, now that they have AISD and the Boy Scouts involved."

This was the same lady that said, "It's not my personal opinion, but you know how it is around here." "It's just like we can't let that guy from the karate place help since he's been convicted of indecency with a child". I did take the opportunity today to remind the group that gay/lesbian did not equal indecency with a child.

The group was appauled at the unwillingness of the Task Force to accept our offer, and the conversation was light, funny, but most important very supportive and several in the group offered some helpful future assistance.

Anyway, a bit later in the meeting we were discussing the need to have our chairperson available for contact during daytime hours. A lady from the back made the following statement, "You know, it's just like if Bekki, not that I agree with that lifestyle, but if she needed to get in touch with someone, they need to be available."

I am speechless

OUTstanding has recently purchased a couple of valuable videos complete with study guides for use in educational and awareness workshop opportunities that continue to arise.
We hope to be able to advertise and promote these public viewings and discussions in the local public library. Our thought in holding such an event at a public library is to attract the people who really need the help. Both of these films are directed at educators, parents, and organizations who already have a hand in the lives of young people.

Videos:
GAY YOUTH
"Gay Youth" is a powerful and accessible educational video for high schools and colleges that breaks the silence surrounding adolescent homosexuality. Across the nation this award-winning video and its 16-page study guide are being used by educators and organizations that care for young people. By contrasting the tragic death of 20-year old Bobby Griffith, a gay teen who could not find acceptance, with the remarkable life of 17-year old Gina Gutierrez, this important video shows us that information, acceptance, and support make enormous differences in the lives of these young people.
http://www.newday.com/films/Gay_Youth.html

IT'S ELEMENTARY
"It's Elementary" takes cameras into classrooms across the U.S. to look at one of today's most controversial issues - whether and how gay issues should be discussed in schools. It features elementary and middle schools where (mainly heterosexual) teachers are challenging the prevailing political climate and its attempt to censor any dialogue in schools about gay people. Rather than focusing on the debate between adults, though, the film takes the point of view of the school children, starting as young as first grade.
http://www.newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.html

I hope this concept will prove to be an opportunity to get this information into the hands of the people who need it the most, and would be otherwise unwilling to access it for themselves. I'm very excited to begin this adventure!!!

I am proud to announce that some of the lesson plans for our first stab at the V2 project are officially in progress.
Several local teachers (of course I cannot share their names, else their employment would be jeopardized)are taking advantage of Spring Break to dedicate their time to help create 8 short, stand alone courses designed to help lgbt youth to better socially interact with the world around them.

I don't know how many of you have spent much time with a teenager or young adult lately, but it is our belief and observation that many of the lgbt kids are missing some valuable components of social development that is culturally & socially available to kids who are not also challenged with sexual orientation and/or gender identity conflicts.

Please understand, the 'adults' at OUTstanding aren't just making this stuff up in order to have something else to do, all of these topics have been specifically requested both directly and indirectly from our kids. This project is not designed to dump 45 minutes of lecture onto unwilling participants, each event will involve lots of interaction and rehersal. Our kids really want our help to empowered to interact socially and appropriately.

Although the topics are bound to evolve, some of the subjects we intend to cover throughout this project are:
Anger Resolution,
Communication Skills,
Spirituality,
Accountability & Empathy,
Present yourself - Consider Your Audience,
Coming Out,
Life Skills.

Each of the creators of this project will be facilitating the first session beginning in May 2006. After that the project is designed for our young adults and other OUTstanding volunteers to take on this leadership role.

It is unfortunate that I am excited about this announcement, but we do still live in the real world. We have just added a link on our homepage to a GLBT Harassment Report Form. This report is to be used for any form of glbt harassment you incur or observe.

Some people are of the opinion that taunting and harassment makes us stronger as individuals, but sometimes it serves as a barrier to education, employment, and overall quality of life. Many of us have learned to 'tolerate' injustices from others, accepting the idea that that's just "how it is". But "how it is" just isn't really good enough anymore.

Our idea is that we can't really do much about it until we open a dialog about it. The next time someone tells you, "that's just how it is around here", ask them "why must it stay that way?"

It can be different, and we are making a difference with every Community Conversation we open. The details of the Report Form will be held completely confidential until given any authority or consent to speak on your behalf, but sharing your stories and experiences will help to justify the work we do.

We will not be able to offer support to each individual who reports an incident, but it will help us to better recognize the current state of affairs in our community. Let others know about this form. There is a date field in the form for you to also let us know about incidents that may have happened in the past.

Your participation is crutial and appreciated. Please keep this form in mind anytime you feel that you've been treated offensively based on your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Representatives from OUTstanding attended the Amarillo Independent School Board meeting this week. We took advantage of the 3 minute public comment portion of the agenda.

Tony shared some details about his personal story that ultimately resulted in him leaving the public school system and obtaining his education through home schooling. I shared 3 minutes worth of local and national statistics.

There is no option for feedback or dialog about the public comments, so we really don't know how it went. But we know we have some supporters on the school board and maybe inspired some thought among them all.

I've got to be honest, I really had myself worked up and nervous about this, but Tony helped me by not letting his anxiety show. It really turned out to be nothing and I'm so glad that we followed through with it.

One of our questions for Debra McCartt when she was running for mayor was:

"7) Are LGBT residents and businesses welcome in Amarillo? What evidence to we have of that?
Absolutely! I am not sure where some of these questions originate from, but I get a sense that you are not that happy with the way things are being handled. As far as statistics about proof of being welcome in the residential community or business community, I don't guess I have that. It is important to me to understand what you're thinking. I will be here for you and every other citizen of this community. I feel it is important that every person be treated as an individual with all rights, respect and attention given to them. Thank you for your being interested in who I am. I look forward to working with you in the future and hope you know I will have an open door for you!"
May/June 2005 OUTspoken

I took advantage of the 'open door' she promised us. We met on the morning of Febrary 6th. She lent a compassionate ear to my concerns and frustrations regarding the health fair 'uninvitation'. The majority of our discussion was not how to undo this decision, but about things that we can do as an organization to enhance the image of the glbt population. Community projects and partnerships where we could engage our volunteers to demonstrate that we are neighborly and mutually concerned citizens.

She told me about the North Amarillo Task Force. This is a group of concerned citizens intent on cleaning up some areas of town in hopes of a better quality of life for its residents. We both thought this would be a good place to employ our volunteer team, a place where we could demonstrate our neighborliness and help others achieve their goals.