Executive Summary

Now that I've had some time to think, I've realized that I could not have designed nor planned a sensitivity training that would have been as effective as the ignorant, well-meaning lady in the back of the room yesterday.

As soon as she said that, "I don't agree with THAT lifestyle" statement, the air was immediately sucked out of the room by all the others at the table gasping in surprise. 20 people got to actually experience ignorant innocence in action, not just hear about it. Derek (one of our youth) was with me and told me that everyone in the room's eyes locked on us as soon as those words came out of her mouth. He also said that my silent response was so loud he could barely hear the rest of her sentence, he felt sure that the rest of the room heard it too.

But what I know is that we hear that sort of statement all the time. We have come to accept that someone saying, "I don't agree with that lifestyle, but. . ." is still our friend. We have come to tolerate the person who says, "It's not my personal opinion, but. . ." as one who is on our side of this social debate.

NOT TRUE, I say, NOT TRUE. If it's really not your opinion then why are you projecting in onto me. If it is not your opinion then why didn't you say so in the meeting of people whom you assumed it was. If you don't agree with THAT LIFESTYLE, then don't live it. And just exactly what does that mean? THAT LIFESTYLE?? Bungy jumping and sky diving, that to me is an alternative, high-risk lifestyle - I do not agree with it. People who workout everyday and eat healthy, that is an 'alternate lifestyle' of which many apparently don't subscribe to either, but you don't hear that come up in conversation much.

Many people say they don't 'agree' with homosexuality, is that sort of like 'onions don't agree with me'? Heterosexuality didn't agree with me, so you know what - I'm NOT ONE, and I think people who 'disagree' with homosexuality shouldn't be one either, but what the heck did that have to do with whether or not the chair of the coalition is available to take phone calls during the day???????

On February 17th the middle school health fair was canceled. It is very unfortunate that our questions may have interupted CCPIT's access to enhance the quality of the lives of some middle schoolers.

But as one of the coalition members stated, "We're just letting AISD work out policy that tells all involved how to do things that involve community members. The wheel was already broken...we just let them realize that it was flat!"

The week of February 14th, Terre Moore (OUTstanding Amarillo' board president) went to the AISD support center and requested a copy of the school board policies. She was directed to the online policy manual, but told them that she wasn't able to locate the specific policy that she was looking for. She told them that we were invited and then uninvited to participate in a health fair based on a policy that prohibited devil worshipers and gay and lesbian organizations on campuses.

They called a community relations director out to address her request. Terre was told that AISD does not discriminate and gave her a student policy manual.

On February 14th I received a call from Francetta Crow from the North Amarillo Task Force. She told me that since AISD and the Boy Scouts were now onboard for their cleanup project that they really couldn't afford an affiliation with us. They were going to have a youth rally with all Amarillo's youth organizations in March to gather volunteers and that they really couldn't afford to have 'people like us' involved with youth. I reminded her that we too are a youth organization and that most of our volunteers would be young people also.

She made reference to another man who wanted to participate, but they had to decline his offer also because he had recently been charged with indecency with a child.

I asked her how his charges were a relevant comparison to the youth volunteers of OUTstanding and she said, "Well you know it's not my personal opinion, but you know how it is around here".

One of our questions for Debra McCartt when she was running for mayor was:

"7) Are LGBT residents and businesses welcome in Amarillo? What evidence to we have of that?
Absolutely! . . . I feel it is important that every person be treated as an individual with all rights, respect and attention given to them. Thank you for your being interested in who I am. I look forward to working with you in the future and hope you know I will have an open door for you!"
May/June 2005 OUTspoken

I took advantage of the 'open door' she promised us. We met on the morning of Febrary 6th. She lent a compassionate ear to my concerns and frustrations regarding the health fair 'uninvitation'. The majority of our discussion was not how to undo this decision, but about things that we can do as an Organization to enhance the image of the glbt population. Community projects and partnerships where we could engage our volunteers to demonstrate that we are neighborly and mutually concerned citizens.

She told me about the North Amarillo Task Force. This is a group of concerned citizens intent on cleaning up some areas of town in hopes of a better quality of life for its residents. We both thought this would be a good place to employ our volunteer team, a place where we could demonstrate our neighborliness and help others achieve their goals.

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Also on February 6th several concerned OUTstanding members were able to meet with a member of the AISD school board. We had an enlightening, but not very helpful conversation. When we revealed the message that we had received regarding the health fair, we were told that there was in fact a policy that "prohibited devil-worshipers and gay and lesbian organizations on school campuses."
This was very uplifting.

On February 1st, 2006 we were officially UNINVITED to participate in the middle school health fair. The following is the text of the email message I got:

"Bekki, thank you for bringing students with you to the CCPIT meetings.

I have checked with AISD administrators regarding Outstanding's involvement in the Bonham Health Fair and they said that it is against school board policy to involve agencies that deal with gay/lesbian/bi-sexual/transvestite issues on campuses. I hope you have not already incurred any expenses in preparing for the Health Fair.

I hope you will continue to lend your support to the other events that CCPIT does, such as the underage drinking Town Hall meeting. Call me if you have any questions."

I sat with this information for several days. I didn't quite know what to do with it. I have to admit, I wasn't surprised by it, but still I was disappointed, discouraged, angry, resentful, and hurt. I also realized that if we had just breezed into that health fair on a public school campus and shared information about how it's ok to be gay with no reprocussions, we could happily close the doors of OUTstanding Amarillo because our vision and mission would no longer be needed.